Quotes from Jim Carrey movies and TV shows - page 4 of 7

Grinch: I believe I'm here to...accept...an award of some kind. And...the child...mentioned a cheque.
Cindy Lou: No I didn't!
Grinch: All right, then give me the award! come on! while I'm young.

Cindy Lou Who: Santa, what's the meaning of Christmas?
The Grinch: VENGEANCE! I mean... Presents... I suppose.

The Grinch: What's that stench? It's fantastic.

The Grinch: We're gonna die! We're gonna die! I'm gonna throw up, and then I'm gonna die! Mommy tell it to stop!

The Grinch: Blast this Christmassy music. It's joyful and triumphant.

The Grinch: Am I just eating because I'm bored?

Mayor: And now, it's time for the moment we've all been waiting for!
Grinch: Ah yes! My award. And the check!
Mayor: There's no check.
Grinch: Are you sure? Because I really thought I heard someone mention a check.
Mayor: There is NO CHECK!

Movie Nut

The Grinch: I'm all toasty inside. And I'm leaking.

The Grinch: All right, you're a reindeer. Here's your motivation: Your name is Rudolph, you're a freak with a red nose, and no-one likes you. Then, one day, Santa picks you and you save Christmas. No, forget that part. We'll improvise... just keep it kind of loosey-goosey. You hate Christmas! You're gonna steal it. Saving Christmas is a lousy ending, way too commercial. Action!
[Max knocks off the nose.] The Grinch: Brilliant! You reject your own nose because it represents the glitter of commercialism. Why didn't I think of that? Cut, print, check the gate, moving on.

Steven Russell: I'm gay. I'm a huge fag. Faggot! That's what they're gonna call me.
Ambulance Attendant: If you say so, sir.

Steven Russell: Fucking Texas.

Steven Russell: Pardon my french. My mother smoked during pregnancy.

Steven Russell: I love you, Phillip Morris! I love you.

Steven Russell: Love sure is a funny thing. Makes you happy, makes you sad, makes you do all sorts of things you never thought you'd do before. In fact, love's the reason I'm lying here dying.

Steve Gray: Your skin makes me cry.

Colonel Stars and Stripes: Try to have fun. Otherwise, what's the point?

Count Olaf: I must say, you're a gloomy looking bunch. Why are you so glum?
Klaus Baudelaire: Our parents just died.
Count Olaf: [nonchalantly.] Ah, yes. How very dreadful. Wait, let me do that one more time. Give me the line again while it's fresh in my mind.
Klaus Baudelaire: Our parents just died?
[Olaf pretends to be shocked.].

Driver: What's your problem, schmuck?
Fletcher: I'm an inconsiderate prick!

Fletcher: Look. I need to lie. Everybody lies. Mommy lies. Even the wonderful Jerry lies.
Max Reede: But you're the only one who makes me feel bad.

Cop: Do you know why I pulled you over?
Fletcher Reede: It depends on how long you were following me!
Cop: Why don't we just start from the top?
Fletcher Reede: Here it goes. I sped, I followed too closely, I ran a stop sign, I almost hit a Chevy, I sped some more, I failed to yield at a crosswalk, I changed lanes at an intersection, I changed lanes without signaling while running a red light and SPEEDING!
Cop: Is that all?
Fletcher Reede: [Forced.] No. I have unpaid parking tickets.