Quotes from Jim Carrey movies and TV shows - page 3 of 7

Harry Dunne: Whoa, Lloyd. Check out the hotties at 12 o'clock.
Lloyd Christmas: That's three hours away. Why can't I check 'em out now?

Harry Dunne: This is my associate, Dr. Christmas.
Dr. Lewis Meldman: Christmas, as in the holiday?
Lloyd Christmas: No, as in the tree.

Valerie: Aw, Wiploc, I think I'll miss you least of all.
Wiploc: You want a liplock from Wiploc?

Wiploc: Finland is here?
Valerie: Finland? No, this is the Valley. Finland is the capital of Norway. Gawd, you guys sure learn fast.

Joel Barish: I can't see anything I don't like about you.
Clementine: But you will, you will think of things and I'll get bored with you and feel trapped because that's what happens with me.
Joel Barish: Okay.
Clementine: Okay.

Dick Harper: Son of a bitch.
Jane Harper: That fucker.
Dick Harper: Hon, language.

Jane Harper: I went to this Botox Experiment, and I had a little accident... does it really look that bad?
Dick Harper: No. Just... different.
Day Laborer: Hey Dick, can we talk about these some other time?

Morton: Horton, the kangaroo has sent Vlad!
Horton: Vlad? I know two Vlads. One is a cute little bunny that brings me cookies. The other is bad Vlad. Which Vlad?
Morton: Which one do you think?
Horton: Bad Vlad?
Morton: Good call.

The Grinch: Those Whos are hard to frazzle, Max. But, we did our worst, and that's all that matters.

The Grinch: The nerve of those Whos. Inviting me down there - and on such short notice. Even if I wanted to go my schedule simply wouldn't allow it. 4:00, wallow in self pity; 4:30, stare into the abyss; 5:00, solve world hunger, tell no-one. 5:30, jazzercize. 6:30, dinner with me. I can't cancel that again. 7:00, wrestle with my self-loathing; I'm booked. Of course, if I bump the loathing to 9 I could still be done in time to lay in bed, stare at the ceiling and slip slowly into madness. But what would I wear?

Grinch: Hello!
Grinch's Echo: Hello! Hello! Hello!
Grinch: How are you?
Grinch's Echo: How are you? How are you? How are you?
Grinch: I asked you first.
Grinch's Echo: I asked you first. I asked you first. I asked you first.
Grinch: Oh, that's real mature. Saying exactly what I say.
Grinch's Echo: Exactly what I say. Exactly what I say. Exactly what I say.
Grinch: I'm an idiot.
Grinch's Echo: You're an idiot.
Grinch: [Whispering] All right. Fine. I'm not talking to you anymore. In fact, I'm going to whisper. So that by the time the sound of my voice reverberates off the walls and gets back to me, I won't be able to hear it.
Grinch's Echo: You're an idiot.

Grinch: Fat boy ought to finishing up any time now. Talk about a recluse! He only comes out once a year, and HE never catches any flak for it! Probably lives up there to avoid the taxes! [Notices Santa leaving.] OOOpsy! Forgot about the reindeer. If I can't find a reindeer, I'll make one instead. Max, I'm going to steal Christmas!

Movie Nut

The Grinch: Oh. Bleeding hearts of the world unite.

The Grinch: Oh, the Who-manity.

The Grinch: One man's toxic sludge is another man's potpourri.
[Max barks.]
The Grinch: I dunno. Some kind of soup.

The Grinch: And they'll feast, feast, feast, feast. They'll eat their Who-Pudding and rare Who-Roast Beast. But there's something I just cannot stand in least... Oh no. I'M SPEAKING IN RHYME!

The Grinch: That's what it's all about right? That's what it's always been about! Gifts, gifts, gifts, gifts, gifts, gifts! Do you know what happens to your gifts? They all come to me...in your garbage. Do you see what I'm saying here? IN YOUR GARBAGE! I could hang myself with all the bad Christmas neckties I found at the dump! And the avarice...[points to mayor.] The avarice never ends! "I want golf clubs!" "I want diamonds!" "I want a pony so I can ride it two times, get bored, and send it to make glue!" Look, I don't wanna make waves, but this WHOLE Christmas season is STUPID! STUPID! STUPID! There is however, one teeny, tiny, Christmas tradition that I find quite meaningful [snatches mistletoe from ring case.] Mistletoe. [Turns around and shouts.] NOW PUCKER UP AND KISS IT, WHOVILLE!

The Grinch: How dare you enter the Grinch's lair!? The impudence! The audacity! The unmitigated gall!

Cindy Lou: Um, maybe you need a time out.
Grinch: Kids today. So de-sensitized by movies and television... WHADDAYA WANT?

Movie Nut

The Grinch: Any calls?
Grinch's Answering Machine: You have no messages.
The Grinch: Odd. Better check the outgoing.
Grinch's outgoing message: IF YOU UTTER SO MUCH AS ONE SYLLABLE, I'LL HUNT YOU DOWN AND GUT YOU LIKE A FISH! If you'd like to fax me, press the star key.
The Grinch: Hmm. Hmm. Oh well.