Quotes from Will Ferrell movies and TV shows - page 8 of 9

Brennan Huff: You're not a doctor. You're a big fat curly headed fuck!

Brennan Huff: Sticks and stones may break my bones, but I will kick you repeatedly in the balls!

Brennan Huff: Two things! First, you keep your liver spotted hands off my beautiful mother, she's a saint! Second, You sit down and write a cheque to Dale and Brennan for $10,000! Or I'll shove one of those fake hearing devices so far up your ass, you can listen to your lower intestine as it produces SHIT!

Brennan Huff: I tea-bagged your drum set!
Dale Doback: Well my drum set's a guy, so that makes you gay!

Brennan: Favorite prehistoric dinosaur?
Brennan and Dale: Velociraptor!
Dale: Favorite non-pornographic magazine to masturbate to?
Brennan and Dale: Good Housekeeping!
Brennan: Who is one man that you would sleep with if you were a girl?
Brennan and Dale: John Stamos!
Dale: Oh my gosh.
Brennan: Did we just become best friends?
Dale: Yup.
Brennan: Wanna go do karate in the garage?
Dale: Yup.

Brennan Huff: I swear, I'm so pissed off at my mom. As soon as she's of age, I'm putting her in a home.

Brennan Huff: I'm going to take a pillowcase and fill it full of bars of soap and beat the shit out of you!

Dale Doback: My dad and I decided that Nancy's kind of hot, so maybe we should just both bang her and in the meantime deal with the re**rd.
Brennan Huff: Who's the re**rd?
Dale Doback: You.
Brennan Huff: Hey y'all don't say that!

Dr. Robert Doback: We're putting the house on the market.
Dale Doback: Where are we moving?
Brennan Huff: Is the house haunted?

Brennan Huff: Hold on. We're not going on the boat, Derek's selling the house, and we have to go to therapy?
Dr. Robert Doback: Yeah.
Brennan Huff: What the fuck happened?!

Brennan Huff: [in his therapist's fantasy.] I've come five hundred miles to deliver my seed.

Derek: So, what do we do now?
Brennan Huff: Can we hug?
Derek: Yeah, you'd like that, you fa**ot! I'm sorry, I'm new to this.

[Waking up from dreams on top of each other.]
Dale Doback: Oh no, I'm late for school.
Brennan Huff: I'll kiss you on the lips Kenny Rodgers.

Brennan Huff: You're embarrassing yourself, you geriatric fuck!

Brennan Huff: You better not close your eyes, because as soon as you do, I'm gonna punch you square in the face!

Harold Crick: Aren't you too old to go to space camp?
Dave: You're never too old to go to space camp, dude.

Harold Crick: I brought you flours.

Harold Crick: You keep your files like this?
Ana Pascal: No, actually I'm quite fastidious. I put them in this box just to screw with you.

Harold Crick: You have to understand that this isn't a philosophy or a literary theory or a story to me. It's my life.
Professor Jules Hilbert: Absolutely. So just go make it the one you've always wanted.

Harold Crick: I may already be dead, just not typed.