Quotes from Jack Lemmon movies and TV shows - page 4 of 4

Harry Stoner: The government has a word for survival. It's called fraud.

Harry Stoner: We got a movie we've gotta see.
Sid Fivush: Movie? They ain't made a good movie in thirty years.

Jerry: Now you've done it! Now you have done it.
Joe: Done what?
Jerry: You tore off one of my chests.

Jerry: I'm a man!
Osgood: Nobody's perfect.

Jerry: Have I got things to tell you.
Joe: What happened?
Jerry: I'm engaged.
Joe: Congratulations. Who's the lucky girl?
Jerry: I am.

Joe: We didn't see anything.
Jerry: We didn't hear anything either.

Jerry: Oh, why did I let you talk me into this?
Joe: I thought you weren't speaking to me.

Jerry: We're up the creek and you want to hock the paddle.

Osgood: Which of these instruments do you play?
Jerry: Bull fiddle.
Osgood: Fascinating! Do you use a bow or do you just pluck it?
Jerry: Most of the time, I slap it.

Joe: But, you're not a girl! You're a guy, and, why would a guy wanna marry a guy?
Jerry: Security.

Lt. Rip Crandall: This hulk is commissioned? As what?
Ens. Tommy J. Hanson: It's unclassified, sir.
Lt. Rip Crandall: Uncla-? I can believe that.