Quotes from Barbra Streisand movies and TV shows

Rose Brice: When you look at him, you only see what you want to see.
Fanny Brice: I see him as he is. I love him as he is.
Rose Brice: Fanny. Love him a little less. Help him a little more.

Fanny Brice: "No law against waiting," I said, "people do it all the time." For once, I didn't say too much, I didn't say too little, I said just what I said and then walked.

Fanny Brice: No harm in waiting, I said, people do it everyday... For once, I didn't say too much, I said just enough, and then walked away.

Fanny Brice: He's a gentleman. A gentleman fits in anyplace.
Rose Brice: A sponge fits in anyplace.

Fanny Brice: If I can't tell when you're ordering roast beef and potatoes, how will I know when you're making advances?
Nick Arnstein: You'll know. I'll be much more direct.

Fanny Brice: Flo! Flo, quit yelling or your ulcer will flare up.
Florenz Ziegfeld: That's funny coming from you, you gave me that ulcer.

Fanny Brice: Where I come from, when two people... well, sort of love each other... oh, never mind.
Nick Arnstein: Well? What do they do when they "sort of love each other"?
Fanny Brice: Well, one of them says, "Why don't we get married?"
Nick Arnstein: Really?
Fanny Brice: Yeah, and sometimes it's even the man.

Fanny Brice: You were wrong, Mrs. Strakosh.

Joyce Brewster: You want me to go to one of Gayle's miserable singles event? That's what you want? You want me whoring myself out? Put on a thong?
Andrew Brewster: I'm going to sleep now, Ma.

Joyce Brewster: Promise me you'll never pick up a hitchhiker, okay?
Andrew Brewster: I promise I will never pick up a hitchhiker.
Joyce Brewster: Good. They rape.

Joyce Brewster: I want the salad dressing on the side... it's a weight watchers thing.

Joyce Brewster: Ou know, I spent almost 30 years of my life thinking I didn't matter to someone who mattered a great deal to me. I got the answer I needed. I did. It's like Anita always says.
Andrew Brewster: Oh, God.
Joyce Brewster: When it's meant to be, it's meant to be.
Andrew Brewster: That's actually good advice.

Joyce Brewster: I wasn't meant to be with Andy Margolis. You see? I was meant to meet him, but I was meant to marry your father. Because if I hadn't, I wouldn't have had you. Don't you see, Andy? It was always you. You're the love of my life, baby. It will always be you.

Dolly Levi: And on those cold winter nights, Horace, you can snuggle up to your cash register. It's a little lumpy, but it rings.

Ambrose Kemper: This doesn't concern Mrs. Levi.
Dolly Levi: Everything concerns Mrs. Levi, Mr. Kemper.

Dolly Levi: As my late husband, Ephraim Levi, used to say, 'If you have to live from hand-to-mouth, you'd better be ambidextrous.'.

Dolly Levi: Hello! Hello there, how are you? Oh Hello.
Horace: You know too many people.
Dolly Levi: Total strangers.
Horace: Then why do you greet them?
Dolly Levi: It makes me feel good to have so many friends.
Horace: Oh, say hello for me too then.
Dolly Levi: I already did.

Dolly Levi: Money, pardon the expression, is like manure. It's not worth a thing unless it's spread around, encouraging young things to grow.

Horace: Dolly Levi, you are a damned exasperating woman.
Dolly Levi: Why Horace Vandergelder. That is the nicest thing you have ever said to me. Ha ha.

Dolly Levi: Mr. Kemper, do you mind if we go inside? I'm feeling an updraft in my underpants.