Last Vegas (2013)

Paddy: If you think I'm leaving this apartment, you're dumber than that hat.

Archie: I'm gonna find some damn water and take all my damn pills and get this party started.

Archie: We're all here to celebrate Billy marrying an infant.
Billy: She's not an infant.

Sam: We have a problem. The rooms aren't gonna be ready for another year and a half. They're still remodeling. Archibald, did this topic come up when you made the reservation?
Archie: No, because you insisted on making the reservations.
Sam: I insisted, but then you insisted. And it is the second insister.
Archie: Sam.
Sam: That supersedes the.
Archie: Sam. I offered, you insisted.

Billy: Welcome to Las Vegas.
Paddy: Relax, Gershon, it's not like you invented it.

Billy: Why every time the phone rings you think somebody is dying.
Sam: I live in Florida now, usually when the phone rings somebody is dying.

Sam: The thing is... It's crazy, but whenever something spectacular happens to me, the first thing I want to do is tell my wife about it. And, after 40 years of marriage, if I can't tell her about something wonderful that happened to me, it sort of stops being wonderful.

Sam: Nap time.

Diana: That's a generous offer. Are you good in bed, Sam?
Sam: I don't remember.

Young Paddy: No one calls us names except for us.
Young Billy: This fight us gonna make us legends. Run.

Dean: Hey, pal, if I want your opinion, I'll just beat it out of you, all right?