Best comedy movie quotes of 2005

Nick Persons: Oh Damn! Boy Didn't you hear what I just said?
Lindsey Kingston: Ooh, you just swore.
Nick Persons: Your damn right I swore, that's about $400 dollars worth of damage to my new car.
Lindsey Kingston: That's twice! Now you have to put two dollars in the swear jar.

Ninja: It's... impossible.
Kim: No, but real close.

Amos Cadbury: Now wait a minute, you mean to tell me that that.
Sarah Leigh: I know it sounds crazy. Amos, I don't know how it happen. It's only thing that makes sense even if it is Twilight Zone kind of sense.
Amos Cadbury: The guy that... killed Jeremy and your daddy? That you helped send to the electric chair? Millard Findlemeyer? Has come back from the dead... to get revenge on you... inside a cookie?

Romy White: Why am I the only one who sees how great I am?

Seth Plummer: We're all gonna die.

Coach: We got your front, bro.
Bozo: It's your back, we got your back.

Opal: Music is better if someone's listening.

Eugene: I have done some screwing in here I guess.

Loki: I'm a god. I can shape-shift. I can create stuff out of nothingness. I can alter the fabric of reality. So please, quit being a knucklehead.

Alexandra 'Nightingale' Morgan: If we're lucky, the zombie plague will end up as a footnote in the history books. No worse than aids or bubonic plague.

Skipper: Eggnog at 2100 hours, writing our names in the snow at 2105.
Private: Skipper?

Pepe the Prawn: Those of you who have Dark Side of the Moon, press play now.

Gen Harwood: Okay, look. I don't care if you're here. But if you post a picture of me on the school website falling on my butt... You better transfer to a new school.

Luce: Thorns! Thorns! In my bum! Ow.

Narrator: When you're a gay man, you have to feel good about yourself when a urologist says, 'Yeah. I pick you.'.

Evil: Because when you point a finger at somebody else, you're pointing three at yourself and a thumb at the sky.

Oliver Martin: You figure a guy like me with a house, a job a car - a nice car - you think I'm going to have a problem finding someone to fall in love with me?
Emily Friehl: Oh, I think you're going to have a big problem.

Tula: When a woman bends over, a man sees a jelly doughnut. Her brain expands. His explodes. Dead on arrival in her powdered jelly doughnut.

Marienne Hotchkiss: Dance is a very powerful drug Mr. Keane. If embraced judiciously, it can exorcise demons, access deep seated emotions and color your life in joyous shades of brilliant magenta that you never knew existed. But, one must shoulder its challenges with intrepid countenance if one is ever to reap its rewards.

June: It is impossible to say Goodbye to someone you love. It is easier to say 'See ya Later... may be in heaven'.