Grady Tripp: It's been a long time since someone wrote a really good book in jail.
Fred Flintstone: Hey, was that an insult?
Gazoo: Well, if the shoe fits.
Barney Rubble: What's a shoe?
Gazoo: Than I guess it was an insult.
Sam Tiler: Jack was nimble. Jack was quick. Jack gouged eyes with candlesticks.
Pete: So, uh, what brings you to Australia?
Maddie: Well, I uh, my parents inherited the inn.
Pete: Really? From who?
Maddie: Oh, some dead guy.
Pete: Some dead guy?
Indian Bartender: May those who love us, love us. And those who don't love us - may God turn their hearts. And if He cannot turn their hearts, may he turn their ankles, so that we may know them by their limping.
Kathryn: Two's company. Three's a fuck load of fun.
Soul Station Manager: Mr. Phelps, I see you've listed "dabut" under your hobbies?
Leon Phelps: Yeah, that's "da butt."
Grandma Klump: Now that's what I call the Muy Caliente El Negro Special.
Dex: Y'know, no-one ever says, "Hey, God, how was your day? What can I do for you, God?" Or, "Hey, God, did you catch Letterman last night?"
Syd: Oh, and I suppose you talk to God like that?
Dex: Always. All the time.
Syd: And what does God say?
Dex: He says, "You know what? I saw Letterman and it sucked."
Cliff Buxton: Do you know what I thought when this first came up?
Glenn Latham: What, your pipe?
Cliff Buxton: No. The moon mission.
Glenn Latham: You beauty?
Cliff Buxton: I thought, imagine stuffing that up. Isn't that odd?
Glenn Latham: What?
Cliff Buxton: Well, that I was more scared than excited.
Glenn Latham: I don't think that's odd. I feel like that all the time.
Dora Diamond: I love self-loathing complaint rock you can dance to.
Minnie Mogul: I can't sign a contract that will help three ruthless villains take over the world. I just can't.
Fearless Leader, Boris, and Natasha: Why not?
Minnie: My pen's out of ink.
Bennett: I once heard someone say: "When you dim your light, so that someone else can shine, the whole world gets darker."
Jack Byrnes: I will be watching you and if I find that you are trying to corrupt my first born child, I will bring you down, baby. I will bring you down to Chinatown.
Monica Jones: Melons are like boyfriends. Shall I tell you why? To get a single good one you must one hundred try.
Lily, Burnetts Grand Daughter: Magic Railroad?
Mr. C. Junior: Whatever.
Wesley: Did you have a good time? Did you make a wish? Get in touch with your blackness? Found your Betty... well, at least where she has been hanging out.
Charlie: Where? Where is she?
Wesley: Not telling you.
Charlie: What?
Wesley: Not telling you till you straighten up. Danced around like fucking bo-jangles out there, what the fuck? This has got to stop, and I mean it.
Ben: Are you gay, or are you just acting gay?
Robert: Well, that depends, are you interested are are you just acting interested?
Banner in the back of Stanley's van: I'm the guy your mother warned you about.