Peter Loew: I'm a vampire! I'm a vampire! I'm a vampire.
Pop: That judge in the orange skirt... Make yer pee pee harder than a ten pound bag a' nickel jawbreakers, you know what I mean?
Mr. Bobrucz: You, Fifi, can take your French fruit and stuff it up your big bird.
Lt. Nikolai: You lied to me General.
General Vortek: I sent you on a mission... to help an oppresed people.
Lt. Nikolai: But you didn't tell me who the oppressors were, did you?
General Vortek: Nikolai... you were, SPETZNATS.
Lt. Nikolai: I AM SPETZNAS... but I'm no longer one of you.
Sharkey: What the fuck is this?
Frank McBain: Your worst nightmare, Butt-horn.
Sgt. Moses Hightower: Sir, I realize this is your jurisdiction. But if there is a rescue attempt, we would like to volunteer.
Capt. Thaddeus Harris: Commissioner Murdock, I couldn't agree more. I think it is vital that the rescues know Commandant Lassard intimately. Now, I can vouch for the abilities of these officers. After all, I trained them myself.
Sgt. Larvell Jones: Must be the drugs.
Lucy Peters: Wait a minute! You just tell me what the hell's going on.
Harry Washello: Mrs. Peters, in a half-an-hour there's going to be a full-on nuclear attack. The missiles are on their way now. L.A.'s going to be a desert again very soon.
Vicomte de Valmont: Why do you suppose we only feel compelled to chase the ones who run away?
Marquise de Merteuil: Immaturity?
Dealer: Time is all we got in Cruz Del Diablo. Your future will wait 'til you get there. It's the past you can't do anything about.
Janet Cruise: It's ruined. It's totally ruined.
Eric Cruise: It wasn't me, mom! It was a little creature! I saw it.
Janet Cruise: The house is totally destroyed.
Eric Cruise: What do you want me to say?
Janet Cruise: I don't want you to say anything.