Frank Rossi: You know why God made farts smell? So deaf people could enjoy them too.
Cynthia Hawkins: Do you steal the dresses of all singers?
Jules: No, no.
Cynthia Hawkins: So, I'M the lucky one! I have a fan?
Jules: I heard you in Bordeaux. And last year I went to Munich specially for the concert.
Cynthia Hawkins: You made the trip for me?
Jules: Yes, on the moped.
Cynthia Hawkins: On the moped. So, you ARE a real fan.
Feather Woman: Excuse me, have you seen my husband, Izaak Szerman? A tall, a tall handsome man, with a little grey beard. No? Oh, excuse me. Goodbye, sleep well. But if you see him, write to me, yes? Izaak Szerman.
Honey Horneé: Take me, Garth!
Garth Algar: Where? I'm low on gas and you need a jacket.
Honey Horneé: I'm gonna be frank.
Garth Algar: OK. Can I still be Garth?
Frances: Blind Dog and Lightning Boy? Who the hell are you guys supposed to be?
Eugene Martone: We're bluesmen.
Willie Brown: I'm the bluesman, he's from Long Island.
Kevin: I am not your slave.
Bride's father: Hey, pal. I'm not paying you to hear your thoughts on life. I'm paying you to sing.
Robbie: Well, I have a microphone, and you don't. SO YOU WILL LISTEN TO EVERY DAMN WORD I HAVE TO SAY!
Connie: Are you as good in bed as you are on the dance floor?
Justin Bieber: There's gonna be times where people tell you that you can't live your dreams. This is what I tell them: Never say never.
Horse: No-one said anything to me about the full monty.
James Wright: How many Beatles are there?
Kyle Davidson: Three... and Ringo.
Gilbert: Every theatrical performance is a contrivance by its very nature.
Sullivan: Yes, but this piece consists entirely of an artificial and implausible situation.
Gilbert: If you wish to write a Grand Opera about a prostitute, dying of consumption in a garret, I suggest you contact Mr Ibsen in Oslo. I am sure he will be able to furnish you with something suitably dull.
Carol: Everyone with their little perspective. Perspective shuts out the universe, it keeps the love out.
Madonna: I wouldn't live in Chicago cause it's too conservative, aside for the fact that Oprah Winfrey lives there.
Marquis de Sade: Man has given a false importance to death. Any animal, man or plant that dies adds to Nature's compost heap becomes the manure without which nothing could grow, nothing could be created. Death is simply part of the process. Every death, even the cruellest death drowns in the total indifference of Nature. Nature would watch unmoved if we destroyed the entire human race. I hate Nature.
Emmet Ray: I didn't ask your opinion. I'm just telling ya how it's gonna go.
Jack Malik: It's times like this I wish I hadn't given up smoking. I could murder a cigarette.
Rocky: Yeah. What's a cigarette?
Open Mic Host: We've got one spot left. You guys got any new material?
JB: What we got's gonna turn your brain into shit.
Zayn Malik: I'm just a little boy from Bradford and now I'm smashing it.
Dusty: Why do they call it PMS? Because Mad Cow was already taken.