Best comedy movie quotes of all time

Deb: What are you drawing?
Napoleon Dynamite: A liger.
Deb: What's a liger?
Napoleon Dynamite: It's pretty much my favorite animal. It's like a lion and a tiger mixed... Bred for its skills in magic.

Marvin: If there's one thing I know, it's women and covert operations.
Frank: Marvin, that's two things.
Han Cho Bai: No, grasshopper. It is not.

Ivana Humpalot: My name is Ivana. Ivana Humpalot.
Austin Powers: Excuse me?
Ivana Humpalot: Ivana Humpalot.
Austin: And I want a toilet made out of solid gold, but it's just not in the cards now, is it?

Smokey: I got mind control over Debo. When say shut up, I be quiet, but when he leave, I be talkin' again.

Stan Podalak: Let me help! Let me help! I can help! I can help!
Michael Jordan: What can you do?
Stan Podalak: Well, I may not be very tall, but... I'm slow.
Sylvester: And large.
Daffy Duck: And a dork.

Truly Scrumptious: Well, Mr. Potts!
Caractacus Pott: What's wrong?
Truly Scrumptious: Now you'll have to marry me!

Ron Burgundy: Last time I looked in the dictionary, my name's Ron Burgundy. What's your name?
Brian Fantana: Brian Fantana.
Champ Kind: Champ Kind.
Brick Tamland: Brian Fantana.
Brian Fantana: No, you're Brick.
Brick Tamland: Brian.
Brian Fantana: I'm Brian.
Brick Tamland: Veronica.

Vitruvius: The Special has arisen.
Gandalf: Have the young man step forward.
Vitruvius: As you wish, Dubbledore.
Gandalf: I'm Gandalf!
Dumbledore: It's pronounced Dumbledore.
Vitruvius: Dubbledore?
Dumbledore: No, Dumbledore.
Vitruvius: I thought you said Dubbledore.
Gandalf: Vetruvius!
Vitruvius: Ah, we gotta write all that down 'cause I'm not gonna remember any of it, but here we go. The Special will now give an eloquent speech.

Agatha Trunchbull: You wanted cake, you got cake! Now EAT IT.

Hitch: I just know that I want to be... Miserable. Like, *really* miserable. But hey, if that's what it takes for me to be happy, then... Wait, that didn't come out right.

Olaf: I can't feel my legs! I can't feel my legs!
Kristoff: Those are my legs.

Lily Harrison

Dr. Phil: What is wrong with you? Why do you feel the need that you gotta "get" somebody all the time?
Madea: Well when you gettin' "got" and somebody done "got" you and you go "get" them, when you get 'em everybody's gon' get got.
Dr. Phil: Yeah but you're gettin' the gotters when they didn't do anything to even get you.
Madea: Yeah but if the gotters get me I'm gonna get my glock.

Walter Mitty: To see the world, things dangerous to come to, to see behind walls, draw closer, to find each other, and to feel. That is the purpose of life.

Astrid Young Teo: It was never my job to make you feel like a man. I can't make you something you're not.

Dariush: The circle is complete. I am your master now.
Alex: No, the line is " The circle is now complete. Now I am the master."
Dariush: Ok we really need to get you a girl. Alright we need to cut this shit out. You know too much about this Star Trek shit.

Michael: [At the wake.] Great tradition! They throw a great party for you on the one day they know you can't come!

Patch Adams: You treat a disease, you win, you lose. You treat a person, I guarantee you, you'll win, no matter what the outcome.

Hanson: Who's ready for a wing?
Dwight: Yours or the turkey's?
Hanson: Well, I know what you'd like. How about a leg?

Margaret Tate: If you touch my ass one more time I will cut your balls off in your sleep, okay?

Sabrina: Paris is always a good idea.