David Lightman: [On the computer] Hello, are you still playing the game?
Joshua: Of course. I should reach Defcon 1 and release my missiles in 28 hours. Would you like to see some projected kill ratios?
David Lightman: Sixty-nine percent of the housing destroyed. Seventy-two million people dead. [Types into computer] Is this a game or is it real?
Joshua: What's the difference?
Sgt. Moses Hightower: Fools! To think they could kill the brother of Bedulah.
House: Uh-uh. I never thought that.
Sgt. Moses Hightower: Oh, that I could reach into the belly of a yak and rip out its heart.
Kyle: That would bring him back to life?
Sgt. Moses Hightower: No, man. I'm hungry.
Bob Parr: Why would they change math?
Omi: It started with the wind, on a cold night, much like this. It was almost Christmas, but this Christmas was darker, less cheerful. But I still believed in Santa, in magic and miracles, and the hope that we could find joy again. But our village had given up on miracles, and on each other. They had forgotten the spirit of Christmas, the sacrifice of giving, and my family was no different. I tried to help them to believe again, but we were no longer the loving family I remembered. They too had given up. And eventually, so did I. And for the first time, I didn't wish for a miracle. I wished for them to go away. A wish I would come to regret. And that night, in the darkness of a howling blizzard... I got my wish. I knew Saint Nicholas was not coming this year. Instead, it was a much darker, more ancient spirit. The shadow of Saint Nicholas. It was... Krampus. And as he had for thousands of years, Krampus came not to reward, but to punish, not to give, but to take. He, and his helpers. I could only listen as they dragged my family into the underworld, knowing that I would be next. But Krampus did not take me that night. He left me, as a reminder of what happens when hope is lost, when belief is forgotten, and the Christmas spirit...dies.
The Phantom: Softly, deftly, music shall carress you. Hear it, feel it, Secretly possess you.
Russell Casse: Hello boys! I'm baaack!
Joe: No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.
Gimli: Certainty of death; small chance of success...what are we waiting for?
Larry: This is so not worth $11.50 an hour.
Inga: Dr. Fronkensteen! Are you all right?
Fredrick Frankenstein: MY NAME...IS FRANKENSTEIN!
Dynamo: Thought it was pretty funny out there in the zone. What's the matter now, bitch? Why aren't you laughing?
Amber: Because there's nothing funny about a dickless moron with a battery up his ass.
Alpa Chino: Man I'm tired of this Koala hugging Nig...
Kirk Lazarus: [Punches Alpa.] For 400 years, that word has kept us down.
Alpa Chino: What the... ?
Kirk Lazarus: It took a whole lot of trying, just to get up that hill, now... We're in the big leagues, getting our turn to bat, as long as we live, It's you and me baby, there ain't nothi...
Alpa Chino: Man, that's the theme song to The Jeffersons, man you really need help!
Kirk Lazarus: Hey, just 'cause it's a theme song don't make it not true.
Jordan Belfort: I fucked her brains out... For eleven seconds.
Uncle Vernon: And Dudley, you will be?
Dudley Dursley: I'll be waiting to open the door.
Uncle Vernon: Excellent. And you?
Harry: I'll be in my bedroom, making no noise and pretending that I don't exist.
Hector: All my life I've lived by a code; and the code is simple: Honor the gods, love your woman, and defend your country. Troy is mother to us all. Fight for her!
Homer Simpson: Marge, in every marriage you get one chance to say, "I need you to do this with me." And there's only one answer when somebody says that.
Marge Simpson: OK Homie, I'm with ya.
Homer: Thank you my sweetheart.
Bart Simpson: Mom?
Marge: Yes honey?
Bart: You just bought another load of crap from the world's fattest fertiliser salesman!
Venom: You come in here again, in fact, you go anywhere in this city preying on innocent people and we will find you and eat both your arms and then both of your legs and then we will eat your face right off your head. Do you understand?
Robber: Please.
Venom: Yes. So, you will be this armless, legless, faceless thing, won't you? Rolling down the street, like a turd in the wind. Do you feel me?
Robber: What the hell are you?
[Venom's face partially opens to reveal Eddie's face]
Eddie/Venom: We...are Venom.
[Venom's face fully reforms]
Venom: On second thought.
Robber: Please.
[Venom kills the robber].
Louden Swain: But all I ever settled for is that we're born to live and then to die, and... we got to do it alone, each in his own way. And I guess that's why we got to love those people who deserve it like there's no tomorrow. 'Cause when you get right down to it - there isn't.