Quotes from Terry Jones movies and TV shows

King Arnulf: Now, I want you to be absolutely, totally, genuinely honest with me. Did you really, truly, honesty like it?
Erik: ...No.
King Arnulf: They didn't like it! Oh my God! I want to die.

Second Villager: She turned me into a newt.
Sir Bedevere: A newt?
Second Villager: [After looking at himself for some time.] I got better.

Father of the Groom: One day, lad, all this will be yours.
Prince Herbert: What, the curtains?
Father of the Groom: No, not the curtains, lad. All that you can see, stretched out over the hills and valleys of this land! This'll be your kingdom, lad.
Prince Herbert: But Mother -
Father of the Groom: Father, lad. Father.
Prince Herbert: But Father, I don't want any of that.
Father of the Groom: Listen, lad. I built this kingdom up from nothing. When I started here, all there was was swamp. Other kings said I was daft to build a castle on a swamp, but I built it all the same, just to show 'em. It sank into the swamp. So, I built a second one. That sank into the swamp. So, I built a third one. That burned down, fell over, THEN sank into the swamp, but the fourth one stayed up! And that's what you're gonna get, lad. The strongest castle in these islands.

The Jailer's Daughter: I made bubble-and-squeak.
Toad: What do I care for the pleasures of the flesh.
The Jailer's Daughter: I'll take it away, then.
Toad: No! We wouldn't want to waste it.