[Spike crashes to the floor and sits up looking furious.]
Spike: Right! We are gonna set some ground rules. Number one - don't hit me in the face. Number two - when I hit you in the face, you tell me how it feels, so I can write that on my clipboard. Number three [holds up the clipboard.] don't touch my clipboard.
Quotes from James Marsters movies and TV shows
In The Dark - S1-E3
[Watching from on top of a building as Angel talks to a woman he just saved, Spike guesses what is being said.]
Spike: [as Rachel.] How can I thank you, you mysterious black-clad hunk of a night thing?
[as Angel.] No need, little lady, your tears of gratitude are enough for me. You see, I was once a badass vampire, but love and a pesky curse defanged me. Now I'm just a big, fluffy puppy with bad teeth. [Rachel reaches for Angel's head.] No, not the hair. Never the hair.
[as Rachel.] But there must be some way I can show my appreciation?
[as Angel.] No, helping those in need's my job, and working up a load of sexual tension and prancing away like a magnificent poof is truly thanks enough.
[as Rachel.] I understand. I have a nephew who is gay, so...
[as Angel.] Say no more. Evil's still afoot. And I'm almost out of that nancy-boy hair-gel I like so much. Quickly, to the Angel-mobile, away.
Spike: You listen to me. [Kneels in front of her.] I've been alive a bit longer than you, and dead a lot longer than that. I've seen things you couldn't imagine, and done things I prefer you didn't. I don't exactly have a reputation for being a thinker. I follow my blood, which doesn't exactly rush in the direction of my brain. So I make a lot of mistakes, a lot of wrong bloody calls. A hundred plus years, and there's only one thing I've ever been sure of: you. [Buffy looks away; he reaches toward her face.] Hey, look at me. I'm not asking you for anything. When I say, "I love you, " it's not because I want you or because I can't have you. It has nothing to do with me. I love what you are, what you do, how you try. I've seen your kindness and your strength. I've seen the best and the worst of you. And I understand with perfect clarity exactly what you are. You're a hell of a woman. You're the one, Buffy.
Buffy: [Quietly.] I don't wanna be the one.
[After saving Giles from a vampire.]
Spike: Awww, poor Watcher. Did your life flash before your eyes? Cup of tea, cup of tea, almost-got-shagged, cup of tea?
School Hard - S2-E3
Vampire: And when I kill her, it will be the greatest event since the crucifixion. And I should know, I was there.
Spike: You were there?! If every vampire who said he was actually at the crucifixion really was there, it would've been like Woodstock!
Tabula Rasa - S6-E8
Spike: Oh, listen to Mary Poppins. He's got his crust all stiff and upper with that nancy-boy accent. [Everyone looking at him.] You Englishmen are always so... [pauses.] Bloody hell! [Ticks off on his fingers.] Sodding, blimey, shagging, knickers, bollocks, oh God! I'm English!
Giles: Welcome to the nancy tribe.
Spike: Death is on your heels, baby. And sooner or later, it's gonna catch you. And part of you wants it. Not only to stop the fear and uncertainty, but because you're just a little bit in love with it.
School Hard - S2-E3
Spike: You know what I find works with Slayers? Killing them.
More Buffy The Vampire Slayer quotes
Lord Piccolo: With this Dragon Ball, I take my vengeance... Upon the Earth.
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