Quotes from Gary Cole movies and TV shows

Stan: We're not done here. I'm setting boundaries. No more allowance.
Hope: Are you insane? Why are you insane?
Stan: Hope Annabelle, let's de-escalate, shall we?
Hope: You're cutting off my allowance and you want me to stop stealing? What kind of a sick monster are you?
Stan: Do not call me a monster.

Stan: Hello?
Hope: Hey, it's me. Guess who the new team coordinator is. Lance The Fucker Tucker.
Stan: Who?
Hope: The guy who popped my cherry.
Stan: Don't give him that power, honey. Remember, you're a gymnast and your hymen broke without the help of a man.
Hope: Fine. The one who was the first to fuck me. He said he's gonna take Maggie away from me 'cause the little cunt blew her routine.
Stan: No. What? Why did she blow her routine?
Hope: Because she sucks.

Ted Jones: Has anyone seen my bigger knife?

Reese Bobby: Remember, son - If you're not first, you're last!

Mike Brady: A gift is only a good thing when the giver has given thought to that gift. When the gift the giver gives gives grief, then that gift should give the givee regrets.

Peter Brady: Dad, I think I hit him in the head with these. I'm sorry, Mr. Phillips.
Mike Brady: Peter, drumsticks are not toys.
Peter Brady: Oh, they're not drumsticks, Dad. They're weapons.
Mike Brady: Well, weapons are not toys either, Peter.

Mike Brady: Roy, I have something I'd like to discuss with you.
Roy: Is it about where I shop?
Mike Brady: No, but now that you mention it, I have that same suit in brown and green.
Roy: I know. You're wearing it.
Mike Brady: Ah. So I am.