Quotes from Billy Bob Thornton movies and TV shows

Davy Crockett: If it was just me, simple old David from Tennessee, I might drop over that wall some night, take my chances. But that Davy Crockett feller... they're all watchin' him.

Charles Farmer: So, what do you wanna be when you get out of here?
Child #2: I don't know.
Charles Farmer: What do you mean, you don't know?
Child #2: I don't know.
Charles Farmer: Well, let me tell you something, you better know what you wanna do before somebody knows it for you. Trust me.

Charles Farmer: You see, when I was a kid, they used to tell me that I could be anything I wanted to be. No matter what. And maybe I am insane, I don't know, but I still believe that.

Morris Buttermaker: Is that a baggy full of bacon?
Mike Engelberg: I'm on Atkins.

Morris Buttermaker: Baseball's hard, guys. I mean, it really is. You can love it but, believe me, it don't always love you back. It's kind of like dating a German chick, you know?

Morris Buttermaker: Now, my old coach used to say a tie is like kissing your sister, but the way we've been playing, it's more like kissing a really hot stepsister.

Willie: I'm an eating, drinking, shitting, fucking Santa Claus.

Willie: Spare some change. Think about somebody besides your fucking self.

Jolly Santa: I'm going to have to ask you to watch your language when you're representing the suit.
Willie: And I'm going to have to ask you to suck my fucking dick.

Boy: Why do you have two beards?
Willie: That's none of you're fuckin' business.

Willie: Have a seat. What can Santy Claus get ya?
Penguin Girl: A penguin. It doesn't have to be alive.

Willie: Life sucks a big giant dick, kid. But you're a fucking man now and you gotta face up to it. Welcome to the shit show.

Willie: Call me Santa.
Diane: What?
Willie: Call me Santa.
Diane: Don't be weird. Tell me how dirty this is.
Willie: Call me Santa.
Diane: Shut up. Spit on me.

Lorne Malvo: Aces.

Coach Gary Gaines: Everything all right?
John Aubrey: Everything's going to be just fine. Everything's all right as long as we win state.
Coach Gary Gaines: Or what?

Coach Gary Gaines: So how is it out there?
Ivory Christian: They're fast, they're big, they're dirty... plus they're fast.
Coach Gary Gaines: You said that already.

Coach Gary Gaines: Being perfect is when you can look someone in the eye and know you did not let them down.

Coach Gary Gaines: Gentlemen, the hopes and dreams of an entire town are riding on your shoulders. You may never matter again in your life as much as you do right now.

Dwight Dickham: The law is the only thing capable of making people equal.

Ed Crane: Time slows down right before an accident, and I had time to think about things. I thought about what an undertaker had told me once - that your hair keeps growing, for a while anyway, after you die, and then it stops. I thought, "What keeps it growing? Is it like a plant in soil? What goes out of the soil? The soul? And when does the hair realise that it's gone?"