Victor Melling: I haven't seen a walk like that since "Jurassic Park".
Stan Fields: And we'll be right back with our five final lesbians - interviews.
Victor Melling: In place of friends and relationships, you have sarcasm and a gun.
Gracie Hart: Oh, I have sarcasm? When every word that comes out of your mouth is dripping with disdain?
Victor Melling: Ah! That is because I am a miserable, grumpy elitist - and that works for me.
Gracie Hart: You know what? I don't have relationships because I don't want them, an-an-and I don't have friends because I work 24/7. And you have no idea why I am the way that I am.
Stan Fields: Prepare for what promises to be a day of astounding musical, theatrical, and dancing talent. And after I'm finished you can see the ladies.
Frank Tobin: You're a genius.
Kathy Morningside: No, Frank, I'm just pissed off.
Gracie Hart: His ego is like this big and his equpment is like this big.
Eric Matthews: This earpiece lets you hear anybody on our frequencies, and they can hear you.
Gracie Hart: Don't need that, with all this foil in my hair I'm getting HBO.
Gracie Hart: There's something I can do for the talent, that I know how to do it since high school.
Victor Melling: You will not be having sex on this stage.
Gracie Hart: I didn't know that was an option, all right? All I have to do is call room service.
Gracie Hart: Good evening, I know the program says I'm supposed to play the water glasses for you, but, uh, some of the girls got dehydrated.
Eric Matthews: Maybe we could have dinner, you know?
Gracie Hart: What? You, like, asking me on a date?
Eric Matthews: No! Just casual dinner... If we happen to have sex afterwards so be it.
Victor Melling: The interview is the single most important part of the pageant. It counts for 30 percent of your total score.
Gracie Hart: What's the other 70 percent, cleavage?
Gracie Hart: Donut Nazi.
Victor Melling: I'm sorry, what was the question? I was distracted by the half-masticated cow rolling around in your wide-open trap.
Miss Hawaii: Oh I know and it's an honor to have made it this far, I mean especially when you come from such a small state,.
Cheryl "Rhode Island": Oh that's so true. Us Rhode Islanders.
Miss Hawaii: Umm I wasn't finished. Did it sound like I was finished?
Cheryl "Rhode Island": I'm sorry. I,.
Karen "New York": Ay Dios, what are you apologizing to her for? She's obviously been drinking too much Coppertone.
Kathy Morningside: Twenty-five years of bitching beauty queens, and what do I get? Fired! They steal my life, they steal my beauty pageant.
Gracie Hart: Hey, hey! It is not a beauty pageant, it is a scholarship program.
Kathy Morningside: Yeah, yeah.
Gracie Hart: Yes.
Eric Matthews: Just imagine that she's me and there's something you wanna know but I don't wanna talk about it. What would you do?
Gracie Hart: You want me to beat it out of her?
Gracie Hart: Sir, that is one really really purple Russian, sir.
Gracie Hart: Ok, with all due respect here, why did Miss Morningside suggest you?
Victor Melling: Because I am the best... they had their Southern belles, their Midwestern farmers' daughters, spunky western cowgirls, and I have... dirty Harriet.
Eric Matthews: Don't look at me like I betrayed you.
Gracie Hart: No, betrayal implies an action, you just stood there.
Victor Melling: There are no words.
Answer: Yes, I can speak Russian, and what they said in the movie did make sense but they spoke so horribly it was almost impossible to understand them. But it wasn't bull.
But what was said?