Elle: And last week I saw Cameron Diaz at Fred Segal, and I talked her out of buying this truly heinous angora sweater. Whoever said orange was the new pink was seriously disturbed.
Paulette: So what's a girl to do? He's a guy who followed his pecker to greener pastures. I'm a middle aged, high school drop out with stretch marks and a fat ass.
Maurice: Oh, my God, the bend and snap works every time.
Vivian: Nice outfit.
Elle: Oh, I like your outfit too, except when I dress up as a frigid bitch, I try not to look so constipated.
Brooke: Are you one of my lawyers?
Elle: Sort of.
Brooke: Well thank God one of you has a brain.
Professor Callahan: Let the blood bath begin.
Warner Huntington III: Excuse me, I'm sorry... are you here to see me?
Elle: No, silly. I go here.
Elle: The rules of hair care are simple and finite. Any Cosmo girl would have known.
Elle: For that matter, any masturbatory emissions, where the sperm is not seeking an egg, could be termed reckless abandonment.
Professor Callahan: You've just won your case.
Elle: I don't need back-ups. I'm going to Harvard.
C.U.L.A. Advisor: Well then, you'll need excellent recommendations from your professors.
Elle: Okay.
C.U.L.A. Advisor: And a heck of an admissions essay.
Elle: Right.
C.U.L.A. Advisor: And at least a 175 on your LSATs.
Elle: I once had to judge a tighty-whitey contest for Lambda Kappa Pi. Trust me, I can handle anything.
Elle: Bend and snap.
Elle: All people see when they look at me is blonde hair and big boobs.
Elle: I promised her, and I can't break the bonds of sisterhood.
Professor Callahan: Screw sisterhood! This is a murder investigation! Not some scandal at the sorority house.
Professor Stromwell: If you're going to let one stupid prick ruin your life... you're not the girl I thought you were.
Warner Huntington III: You got into Harvard Law?
Elle: What? Like it's hard?
Professor Callahan: Do you think she woke up one morning and said "I think I'll go to law school today"?
Elle: Uh. I'm sorry. I just hallucinated.
Elle: Warner, what kind of shoes are these?
Warner Huntington III: Umm... black ones.
Answer: She was talking about the word "semester." Since it is similar to the word "semen," Enid says that the word favors males. She wants to change it to "ovester." Since that word is similar to the word "ovary," it would favor females.
Paul Christian Pepiton