Sapphire: William? I forgot to tell you. Your mom called. She says you gotta call home immediately. And she says to tell you, "I know what's going on."
Lester Bangs: The Doors? Jim Morrison? He's a drunken buffoon posing as a poet.
Alice Wisdom: I like The Doors.
Lester Bangs: Give me The Guess Who. They got the courage to be drunken buffoons, which makes them poetic.
Elaine Miller: Keep the small bills on the outside and call me if anyone gets drunk.
William Miller: I will call you if anyone anywhere gets drunk.
Russell Hammond: You know, I think we both wanted to, uh, to be with her. I guess she wanted us to be together.
Russell Hammond: Oh, my God. Holy shit. Fuck! I grew up with that lampshade. I love this kitchen. I fucking love this kitchen.
William Miller: I kept thinking I was gonna go home the next day.
Dick Roswell: Yeah. So did I... fifteen years ago.
Lester Bangs: Don't let those swill merchants rewrite you.
Jeff Bebe: Doris is the soul of this band.
Polexia Aphrodisia: Do you have any pot?
William Miller: No. I'm a journalist.
Polexia Aphrodisia: Well, go do your job then. You're on the road, man. It's all happening! Get in there. Go talk to 'em.
Young William: Mom, tell me more about Livia.
Elaine Miller: She killed everybody so her son Tiberius could inherit the throne - just like Nixon.
Anita Miller: This song explains why I'm leaving home to become a stewardess.
Sapphire: Let's deflower the kid.
Anita Miller: It's unfair that we can't listen to our music.
Elaine Miller: That's because it's music about drugs and promiscuous sex.
Anita Miller: Simon and Garfunkel is poetry.
Elaine Miller: Yes it's poetry. It's poetry of drugs and promiscuous sex. Honey, they're on pot.
Russell Hammond: I never said I was a golden god... or did I?
Polexia Aphrodisia: Don't go anywhere, Opie.
Ben Fong-Torres: You're not there to party. We've already got one Hunter Thompson.
Sapphire: Does anybody remember laughter?
Russell Hammond: I hurt the flower.
Sapphire: Can you believe these new girls? None of them use birth control and they eat all the steak.
Jeff Bebe: And I also slept with Leslie.
Russell Hammond: You slept with Jeff?
Leslie: Yeah, but it didn't count! It was the summer we decided to be free of all rules.
Chosen answer: "Tiny Dancer" by Elton John.