Harold and Kumar Go to White Castle (2004)

Harold: Dude, we're so high right now!
Kumar: We're not low!

Kumar: Dad, come on.
Dr. Patel: Daddy is not coming on anything!

Kumar: So she's kinda fucking cute. Let her touch your penis.

Harold: Are those my scissors? I trim my nose hair with those.
Kumar: Dude... I've been cutting my ass hair with these.

Kumar: How were Katie Holmes' tits?
Goldstein: You know the Holocaust?
Kumar: Yeah?
Goldstein: Picture the opposite of that!
Kumar: Nice!

Harold: I am so hungry. I'm gonna eat, like,20 of those burgers, man.
Kumar: Dude, fuckin' I will see your 20 burgers and raise you 5 orders of fries.

Harold: Oh, nice. 16 Candles is on, man.
Kumar: And the award for the least heterosexual statement ever made in this apartment goes to... Harold Lee! Come on down, man! Take a bow!
Harold: Shut up, man. It's a classic.

Dr. Patel: I have invested a lot of time and energy for you to go and fuck it all up!

Kumar: Do you know what the hell we had to go through after you took the car?
Neil Patrick Harris: Yeah, it was a dick move on my part. That's why I'm paying for your meal. Prick.
Neil Patrick Harris: [looks down to count money.] Here's 80 for the meal, and 200 for the car
Harold: What did you do to my car?
Neil Patrick Harris: I made some love stains in the back. You'll see.

Harold: Did Doogie Houser just steal my fucking car?

Kumar: Dude you don't understand, we've been craving these burgers all night.
Neil Patrick Harris: Yeah I've been craving burgers too...fur burgers.