Jack Slater: Sir, are you a henchman?
Benedict: No, I only go as far as lackey.
Jack Slater: Why am I wasting time with a dime-store putz like you when I could be doing something much more dangerous, like re-arranging my sock drawers?
Tammy, Hell's Kitchen Hooker: Sweetheart, wanna have a party?
Benedict: How old are you?
Tammy, Hell's Kitchen Hooker: Forget it.
Danny Madigan: Say this.
Jack Slater: Hey, grow up.
Danny Madigan: Just say this one word.
Jack Slater: Is this another one of your movie proofs?
Danny Madigan: Maybe.
Jack Slater: Kid... I don't want to say it.
Danny Madigan: Say what? You can't. You can't possibly say it because this movie is PG-13. Admit it.
Jack Slater: Did you make a movie mistake? You forgot to reload the damn gun.
Benedict: No, Jack. I just left one chamber empty.
Nick: There are lots of things worse than movies: politicians, wars, forest fires, famine, plague, sickness, pain, warts, politicians.
Jack Slater: You already mentioned them.
Nick: I know I did. They are twice as bad as anything else.
Jack Slater: Here's another explosion for your movie, kid.
Benedict: The Fart goes off in seven minutes.
John Practice: How do you get to Carnegie Hall?
Jack Slater: By practice. John Practice.
Jack Slater: I mean, all I had to do, is just drive around the neighborhood, and point my finger at a house, and say 'The bad guys are in there!'.
Jack Slater: Kid! Who does the doctor treat?
Danny Madigan: Patients?
Jack Slater: Look at the elbow of my jacket. What is it doing?
Danny Madigan: Wearing thin?
Jack Slater: Bingo.
Danny Madigan: OK, I got one. What about this girl right here. She is way too attractive to be working in a video store.
Jack Slater: I agree with you. I think she should be working with us... under cover of course.
Benedict: Take his shoes?
James Belushi: I'm not really a big fan of Arnold's... She is, you know... Arnold really turns her on and I just want to be there when it happens.
Danny Madigan: What if staying in the car is what gets me killed?
Jack Slater: There's a gun in the glove compartment.
Death: I don't do fiction. Not my field.
Danny Madigan: You think you are funny, don't you?
Jack Slater: I know I am. I'm the famous comedian Arnold Braunschweiger.
Danny Madigan: Schwarzenegger.
Jack Slater: Gesundheit.
Tony Vivaldi: Where is it written that I am a bad guy?
Jack Slater: Is this the day you were talking about saving?
Danny Madigan: Don't see you doing anything.
Jack Slater: I wouldn't wanna steal your thunder.
Chosen answer: The kid points them out in the film, in order to convince Arnold's character that he inhabits movieland. Also, after Arnold's character falls into the tar pit he is able to completely wipe himself clean, an obvious intentional continuity error.