Little Elf Judy: Seeing isn't believing. Believing is seeing.
Scott Calvin: Can we take a direct flight back to reality, or do we have to change planes in Denver?
Dr. Neil Miller: Charlie, I'm sorry I didn't believe you.
Charlie: That's okay, Neil. You were just denying your inner child.
Dr. Neil Miller: You're going to make a great psychiatrist someday, kid.
Charlie: Nah. I think that I'm going to go into the family business.
Charlie: Neil's a really good cook.
Scott Calvin: Yeah, and you should see him walk on water.
Charlie: You don't like him very much, do you, Dad?
Scott Calvin: Charlie, I'm sorry, I was just kidding around around. Sure I like him. But there's just something about him that makes me want to -.
Charlie: Lash out irrationally?
Scott Calvin: Now, where did you hear that?
Charlie: From Neil. I learn a lot from him. He listens to me.
Scott Calvin: Yeah! And he charges you for it.
Scott Calvin: Charlie, stay away from those things. They're reindeer, you don't know where they've been. They all look like they've got key lime disease.
Charlie: These are Santa's reindeer, aren't they?
Scott Calvin: I hope not. These are... A gift. Probably from the cable company. We're getting the Disney Channel now. Merry Christmas.
Scott Calvin: The only thing you need to worry about is where you're going to buy your sweaters after the circus pulls out of town.
Laura: All Neil told him was that Santa was more of a feeling. More of a state of mind than an actual person.
Scott: Kind of like Neil.
Scott Calvin: Well, isn't that a pretty picture, Santa rolling down the block in a panzer! Well kids, I... I certainly hope you have been good this year, cause it looks like Santa just took out the Pearson home. Incoming.
Charlie: Whoa, Dad! You're flying.
Scott Calvin: It's okay, I'm used to it. I lived through the '60s.
Scott Calvin: Merry Christmas to all, and too all a good night! When I wake up, I'm getting a cat scan!
Laura: Here's Neil's mother's number.
Scott Calvin: 1-800-SPANK-ME? I know that number.
Mr. Whittle: You should see a doctor, a shrink, a dietician, anything.
Charlie: You said you believe in Santa Claus, right, Dad?
Scott Calvin: I did? I do.
E.L.F.S. Leader: We're your worst nightmare. Elves with attitude.
Charlie: Whoa, how did you do that? How did that feel, Dad?
Scott Calvin: It felt like "America's Most Wanted."
Charlie: Dad?
Scott Calvin: What is it, Charlie?
Charlie: Maybe you better leave some milk and cookies out, just in case. Okay?
Scott Calvin: Great. I'll just go pre-heat the oven.
Charlie: And don't forget the fire extinguisher.
Scott Calvin: Good night, Charlie.
Charlie: My dad is Santa Claus.
Chosen answer: Even though Charlie did not want to stay with his Dad for Christmas Eve, he did want to stay at home with a family member, fragmented as it was. Eating Christmas Eve dinner at a Denny's restaurant was not his idea of a Christmas dinner at home with family.