Ted, The Man with the Yellow Hat: His magnificent idol looks like it came out of a cereal box.
Junior Bloomsberry: Wow. That must be a huge box of cereal.
Damien: It's easy to know what you are against, but quite another to know what you are for.
Aquamarine: But I've learned it's not where you are, it's who you're with.
Coach Don Haskins: We do not back down here, ever.
Chase Collins: I'm going to make you my Wee-yotch.
Victor: Now, I think we'd better go inside before we become a tourist attraction.
Doug Carlin: I'll speak slow, so those of you with Ph.D.'s in the room can understand.
Kevin Fischer: What's wrong?
Wendy Christensen: It's nothing. It's just that I'm going to be worrying about you every second while you're gone.
Kevin Fischer: Why would you worry about me? We don't even like each other, remember?
Randal Graves: Emma, are you like this 'cause you have an unnaturally large clit?
Emma: You just *had* to tell him, didn't ya?
Dante Hicks: It kinda came out one day!
Randal Graves: He says it's so big it's almost like a little cock, which says all kinds of weird things about him that I don't even wanna think about.
Owen Davian: We've implanted an explosive charge in your head. Does that sound familiar?
Cassie Munro: Mom, some idiot just parked this ugly RV outside our house.
Jamie Munro: What?
Cassie Munro: Oh, my God, it's your husband.
Lorenzo Council: Kiss my ass, brotherfucker.
Nicholas: They are vertically intergrated, they're.
Det. Ricardo Tubbs: You mean they walk around with constant erections?
Nicholas: No, they farm, process, produce, export.
Det. Ricardo Tubbs: I know what it means.
Slevin: How do you justify being a rabbi... and a gangster?
The Rabbi: I don't. I'm a bad man who doesn't waste time wondering what could've been when I am what could've been and what could not have been. I live on both sides of the fence. My grass is always green. Consider, Mr. Fisher... there are two men sitting here before you, and one of them you should be very afraid of. Where's my money?
John Lyshitski: Under all the swastikas, he's a real prick.
Water Man: Go as you wish. That which is yours will always return to you. That which you take will always be taken from you.
Big Bob: Bobby, leave Doug alone. He's a democrat. He doesn't believe in guns.
Gray: I love natural disasters. I want people to die in them. I am genuinely disappointed when the death toll is low.
Brooke Taylor: Grant Taylor, I just want you to know that you've made a team.
Grant Taylor: What team?
Brooke Taylor: The daddy team.