Natalie: I thought shit like that only happened in the movies.
Professor Harold Hill: You pile up enough tomorrows, and you'll find you've collected a lot of empty yesterdays.
Fait: What are you, some kind of kung fu James Bond?
Dr. Edward Staunton: I'm curious about the subject of your dissertation. You suggest 'Picasso will do for the twentieth century what Michael Angelo did for the renaissance"?
Katherine Watson: In terms of influencing movements.
Dr. Edward Staunton: So, these canvases they're turning out these days with paint dripped and splotched on them, they're as worthy of our attention as Michael Angelo's Sistine Chapel?
Katherine Watson: I'm not comparing them.
Alexa: I tried my hardest to keep y'all apart, you just kept gettin' back together... and I'm the queen of connivin'.
Sinbad: Who's bad? Sinbad.
Sylvia: Sometimes I dream the tree, and the tree is my life. One branch is the man I shall marry, and the leaves my children. Another branch is my future as a writer, and each leaf is a poem. Another branch is a good academic career. But as I sit there trying to choose, the leaves bring to turn brown and blow away, until the tree is absolutely bare.
Ronald Reagan: If you don't mind, this administration has to pee.
King: You're a good grifter, man. It's hard to tell when you're lying.
Jack Taylor: What's this I hear about you threatening to spray this play with an AK-47?
Tom Stansfield: Oh... well, I was just making a joke.
Jack Taylor: Oh that's funny to you? People dying? And what's this I hear about you making fun of midgets?
Tom Stansfield: I never make fun of midgets.
Jack Taylor: You said, it would be fun to date one because then you could rest your beer on their head, now I have a sense of humour, but that's just sick.
Bootsie Carp: You've never fooled me! You're nothing but trash washed over the Canadian border.
Joe Oramas: Hey, man, let me ask you a personal question. You've had sex before, right?
Finbar McBride: Yes.
Joe Oramas: With a regular sized chick?
Finbar McBride: With a regular sized chick.
Blake Gardner: Thou movie, which art on screen, hallowed be they name. The time has come. Thou will be shown in theaters as well as home. Give us this day our daily film and forgive our bad choices, as we forgive those whose movies were so bad to choose. And lead us not into television, but deliver us from that evil, for movies are the picture and the sound, and the greatest thing in the whole wide world, forever and ever. Movies Rule.
David Ingber: I got to tune this business up.
Bookstore Owner: And sometimes when you look into the abyss... the abyss looks back into you.
Julia Cook: Don't make me grieve for you.
Ned Kelly: I ain't dead yet.
Jonathon Cold: You like the dollar bill?
Mimms: Dead presidents. Greenbacks. You care to expound.
Detective Park Doo-Man: Do you get up each morning too?