Jane Aubrey: You ever gotten your heart broken?
Billy Chapel: Yeah. When we lost the pennant in '87.
Capt. James West: Never drum on a white lady's boobies at a big redneck dance. Got it.
Val Resnick: The problem with kicking a Chow's ass is an hour later you wanna do it again.
Henry: The cops are around, we gotta lay low for a while... wow, I never thought I'd say that.
Andrew Martin: Sir, is everything all right?
Sir: Umm. They've both gone now, Andrew. Well, things change, things always change. People move on. It's as it should be. But, what I realised today is that I'll never stop missing them.
Andrew Martin: Sir? One is still here.
Sir: And one is glad of that Andrew. Thank you.
Gilbert: Every theatrical performance is a contrivance by its very nature.
Sullivan: Yes, but this piece consists entirely of an artificial and implausible situation.
Gilbert: If you wish to write a Grand Opera about a prostitute, dying of consumption in a garret, I suggest you contact Mr Ibsen in Oslo. I am sure he will be able to furnish you with something suitably dull.
Cole Sear: I see dead people.
Angela Lansbury: Walt Disney described the art of animation as a voyage of discovery, into the realms of color, sound, and motion. The music from Igor Stravinsky's ballet "The Firebird" inspires such a voyage. And so we conclude this version of "Fantasia" with a mythical story of life, death, and renewal.
Tuptim: If love were a choice, who would choose such exquisite pain?
Tillover: That's my order. My wish, is to slow dance with you, for one minute, Compton style.
Melissa Marr: Now, that's enter-fucking-tainment.
Sonny: I know this is the right thing because I would die for this kid just so he won't feel one ounce of sadness. That's why you're here right now, to protect me, to be scared for me to be a good father. And that's exactly what I'm gonna be.
Richard Twat: As we always say at the Guest House Paradiso: Have fun, don't go in the water if you know what's good for you and try not to get shit on the sheets.
P.A. Announcer: The blouse man is on the premises.
Stan: Love is just lust in disguise, and lust fades, so you damn well better be with someone who can stand you.
Virgil: I saw the horizon. It's out there. And though I may not ever be able to touch it, it's worth reaching for.
Maggie Witzky: Why are you doing this?
Tom Witzky: Water softens up the dirt.
Sly: They've got Whit.
Dan: Who's got Whit? Wait, you're Whit.
Jordan Armstrong: You know, maybe if I had the luxury of getting my ass whooped, I could be calm right now. But I have been drinking tequila shots, my hormones are raging out of control, I'm emotional, I'm horny, and I don't wanna hear about no goddamn peas! Fuck you! Good night.
Bill Gates: Think they're hookers?
Paul Allen: Either that or motel inspectors. I saw one of them go into the room next to ours about a dozen times yesterday.