Detective Harlan Regis: I think the president's gonna become an international suspect.
Mavis LaBreche: I need a crap and a nap and I don't need an audience!"
Admiral Roebuck: With all due respect, M, sometimes I don't think you have the balls for this job.
M: Perhaps. But the advantage is, I don't have to think with them all the time.
Julianne Potter: What I mean, when I say annoyingly perfect, is that there is nothing annoying about her perfection. It's vulnerable and endearing... and that is annoying as shit.
George Downes: Ahh... you like her.
Julianne Potter: If I didn't have to hate her, I'd adore her.
Willa Weston: What are you doing?
Vince McCain: I'm freezing him.
Willa Weston: Why?
Vince McCain: He's gotta be cryogenically frozen until they find a cure.
Willa Weston: Yeah, a cure? Vince, he has a bullet in the brain.
Vince McCain: Well, get more ice.
Willa Weston: Vince, there is no cure for a bullet in the brain. It is very fatal.
Tiresias: It is the journey itself that makes up your life.
Fan 1: What about last season?
Fan 2: What about it?
Fan 1: They were rubbish. They were fucking rubbish.
Fan 2: They weren't that bad.
Fan 1: They were fucking rubbish last year. And they were fucking rubbish the year before. And I don't care if they are top of the League, they'll be fucking rubbish this year, too. And next year. And the year after that. I'm not joking.
Fan 2: I don't know why you come, Frank. Honest I don't.
Fan 1: Well, you live in hope, don't you?
Oscar Wilde: I do believe in anything, provided it is incredible. That's why I intend to die a Catholic, though I never could live as one.
Hercules: Aren't you...a damsel in distress?
Meg: I'm a damsel. I'm in distress. I can handle this. Have a nice day.
Chad: Never trust anything that can bleed for a week and not die.
Raiden: It cannot be!
Sindel: Oh, but it can and it is!
Ernie: He's Hitler with a tail. He's "The Omen" with whiskers. Even Nostradamus didn't see him coming.
Poison Ivy: I must confess, the combination of heroic derring-do and anatomically-correct rubber suit puts fire in a girl's lips.
Batman: Why do all the gorgeous ones have to be homicidal maniacs? Is it me?
Horse: No-one said anything to me about the full monty.
Jerry Fletcher: A good conspiracy is unprovable. I mean, if you can prove it, it means they screwed up somewhere along the line.
Wallace: Sorry I get a little bit insensitive, but I'm a hitman.
James Russell: I need this for sweeps week.
Franklin Hatchett: Sweeps week? Man fuck sweeps week, my life's on the line and you're talking about a damn broom.
Referee #1: Ain't no rules says a dog can't play basketball.
Coach: This is a joke, I mean dogs don't play basketball!
Chaney: What's the matter, afraid your team might get beat by a dog?
Coaches: Put him in.
General Bethlehem: Great men were made by other great men. Patton had Rommel. Grant had Lee.