Russell Kramer: Oh, yeah, I'm about to share my coffee with the Washington Love Machine. No dice. You could spit in a Petri dish and start a whole new civilization.
Nagiko: I am certain that there are two things in life which are dependable: the delights of the flesh and the delights of literature. I have had the good fortune to enjoy them both equally.
Eddie Kasalivich: Doctor Sinclair and I ride together.
Grigori Rasputin: The sea brings comfort, and the waves they talk. The sunshines on the water as it gently rises. You can see the face of God when you look at the sun. Your soul forgets everything as you wake from the dreams of life's worries. For the joy lifts your heart, and your soul sees the wisdom of life, and beauty. Indescribable beauty. Is the pain gone?
Alexei: Yes.
Garrett Lawton: I make it a point to know a little bit about everything.
Mole: Dog food factory.
Uncle Porter: A piece of advice, Never hurl in front of your woman. Something to live by.
Cruella De Vil: My faith in your limited intelligence is momentarily restored.
Xander Drax: Quill, would you please show Mr. Walker up to the observation deck and make him talk?
Sala: I claim the body when you're done.
James Ballard: You had sex with all those men in cars? Only in cars?
Helen Remington: Yes. I didn't plan it that way.
James Ballard: Did you fantasize that Vaughan was photographing all these sex acts as though they were traffic accidents?
Helen Remington: Yes. They felt like traffic accidents.
John Henderson: I know why she hates me! I know why she hates me! I know why she hates me.
Larry Flint: Opinions are like assholes, everybody's got one.
Denise Waverly: Maybe I put too much of myself into my songs.
Joe: The Martians have landed. They want our women.
Dr. Mittenhand: I am like the Wizard of Oz, am I not? Running things from behind a curtain. Only this wizard IS NOT A FAKE.
Andy: Sex, drugs and rock 'n' roll, hey ladies?
Vera: Aye, but we can do without the drugs and rock 'n' roll.
Stanley Stupid: Be on the look out for anything suspicious.
Buster Stupid: Dad, they're putting make-up on men in there.
Stanley Stupid: Bull's eye.
Candy Darling: Aren't you gonna run after us?
Edna, the wheelchair-bound receptionist: That's a terrible thing to say.
Candy Darling: Honey, its a terrible world.