Grandpa Mori Shintaro: Before you go to Japan, you will be tested on the field of battle. Remember, four strands of rope, apart you can snap, but together you can be strong, now get out there and kick butt.
Maverick: My old pappy always used to say, "there is no more deeply satisfying religious experience... than cheatin' on a cheater."
Zane Cooper: I never said that once. You've been misquoting me all your life.
Maverick: What, we're going to quibble over fine points?
Zane Cooper: You never even get close. Give me some credit.
Alex Law: Look over there! It's Cameron.
Juliet Miller: Who?
Alex Law: Cameron. You remember Cameron.
Juliet Miller: No, I don't.
Alex Law: What's he doing here?
Juliet Miller: That's not him.
Alex Law: It is. Cameron! Cameron! Come on over here! Come on.
Cameron: What?
Alex Law: Nothing. We thought you were someone else. Good luck. (Cameron leaves.) I love that guy, but why does he have to follow us around?
Michael McDougal: This is great! This is great! It writes like butter. I mean, there is actual butter coming out of my pen.
Shaddus Peyser: What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What?
Helen Sinclair: Two martinis please, very dry.
David Shayne: How'd you know what I drank?
Helen Sinclair: Oh, you want one too? Three.
Margaret Sullivan: Isn't that wonderful? Your Grandfather gave you the twins.
Billy Heywood: I would rather have my Grandfather.
Captain Thaddeus Harris: Not exactly a four star hotel, is it?
Lieutenant Talinsky: Well, we spend our police budget on fighting criminals, not on pampering out of town visitors.
Captain Thaddeus Harris: It was your government that brought us here.
Lieutenant Talinsky: They also bring in monkeys for zoo, but we don't put them in four star hotel either.
Misty Sutphin: He killed people, mom.
Beverly Sutphin: We all have our bad days.
Rock Reilly: Get in the van!
Claudette: I've told you, not to bother me before a show, or after a show. Or, at home in my bedroom, when I'm thinking about a show.
Vada: If I get married, I'll never change my name.
Nick: Why? You think the guy should change his name?
Vada: I don't think anybody should change their names, that way you can't find them when you need them.
Nick: What if you don't want to be found?
Vada: Why do you argue with everything I say?
Tim: Shit! What the hell are those?
Antonio: I have to go and take a shower, because I smell like Kevin Costner after "Dances with wolves."
Kitty Potter: This is fucking fruitcake time. I mean - is that fashion, is it? I mean is there a message out there? I mean you got lot of naked people wandering around here.
Pat Riley: So... did I tell you I'm unemployed?
Kathy Griffin: Yea, uh, about 400 times.
Pat Riley: Say, do you think you could make an announcement about it at the radio station?
Kathy Griffin: Absolutely not.
Pat Riley: Ok, well think about it, but when you do make the announcement let me know. I want to tell my friends to tune in. They don't listen to your show normally.
Raphael: Oh no, he's turning into that opera guy again.
Francesco Dellamorte: I should have known it. The rest of the world doesn't exist.
Buddy: You're happy. I hate that.