Janet Colgate: Fellas, last year I made 3 million dollars, but your 50 thousand was the most fun. Are you ready? Then let's go get 'em.
Ruby: Most people our age are a pain in the ass.
Bernie: Most people our age are dead.
Katherine Parker: Ugh! What a slob.
Tess McGill: You were so smooth with him.
Katherine Parker: Never burn bridges. Today's junior prick, tomorrow's senior partner.
Brenda: Joey, I'm not into dead guys.
Sadie Ratliff: You're in America now. Speak American.
King of the Moon: I think, therefore you is.
Mac: Are we limp and hard to manage?
Jefferson "Jake" Edward Briggs: And in the end, I realised that I took more than I gave, I was trusted more than I trusted, and I was loved more than I loved. And what I was looking for was not to be found but to be made.
Vincent: Women love men who are mysterious and devious, keeps them on their toes, it excites them. You know what I mean?
Julius: No.
Vincent: You do like women?
Julius: Oh, very much so. They're strange and sensitive. They have compassion. I have the highest respect for women.
Vincent: You're a virgin!
Julius: That's private.
Vincent: A 230-pound virgin.
Elizabeth Farmer: I'm convinced that our marriage has been one of mutual betrayals. I know it! you know it! Even Yellow Dog knows it.
Andy Farmer: I know it and you know it. Yellow Dog doesn't even know what town he's in.
Kid: That's an iguana. It's real big lizard. You can eat it, but it tastes like shit. Right, Mick?
Brian: Should we let it breathe?
Doug: It hasn't breathed for fifty years, it's dead. Let's just drink it.
Ernest: I have lived my life in the fast lane.
Tom Mix: Wait a minute, Wyatt, there's something we gotta get sorted out here. I threatened to rope him behind my horse and drag him, then you waltz in pretty as you please and threaten to kill him. I don't like being out-threatened.
Wyatt Earp: Sorry. Won't happen again.
Sylvia Pickel: You're very brave.
Nick Deezy: Everybody looks brave holding a machinegun.
Caveman: Good cat! Good cat.
Vance: We do not want to end up with a low potassium level.
Pee-wee: Duh, Vance! You'd think I never went to agricultural junior college.
Peter Vincent: First we need some holy water, and some communion wafers.
Alex: Communion wafers? The stuff you get from the church? Am I going to hell for this?
Janis Zuckerman: I'm looking for a guy named Louie, fuzzy hair, crooked teeth, bug eyes. Has he been around lately?
Girl Punk: Suck shit through a tube.
Art Ridzik: Oh, great. We got a pro basketball team coming toward us - with guns.