Townsman: I thought all this money would make me feel different.
Harvey "Blind" Pew: It sounded as though there was a bit of a squabble.
Moon: Squabble? They're all dead.
Harvey "Blind" Pew: Oh! Must have been more of a tiff then.
Jack Ridley: Put the spurs to her, Chuck.
Vic Trenton: There are no real monsters.
Tad Trenton: Except for the one in my closet.
Scrooge: What's she cooking, a canary? Surely they have more food than that. Look on the fire.
Ghost of Christmas Present: Huh, where? Oh, that's your laundry.
Ross Webster: Congratulations, Gus, old buddy. You're going to go down in history as the man who killed Superman.
Little Enos: I'd like to kick your ass.
Buford T. Justice: You can't kick that high, cricket crotch.
Nick: When you give up your dream, you die.
Viking Lofgren: Hey, lipshitz.
Horowitz: The name is Horowitz, asshole.
Viking Lofgren: Horowitz asshole?
Paco Moreno: I heard it was lipshitz.
Viking Lofgren: Yeah, and if your lip shits, what's your asshole doin'?
Zura: The oxen are slow, but the earth is patient.
Man in Bar: Come on, damnit, we wanna hear a cluck.
Stroker Ace: Who gives a cluck?
Sailor: Boy, you usin' that oriental martial bullshit on me's gonna get real expensive.
Rusty James: What do you think California's like? Like all that shit in the movies. Blondes walkin' around, The Beach Boys, palm trees, the ocean. How was the ocean?
The Motorcycle Boy: I didn't get to the ocean.
Rusty James: No?
The Motorcycle Boy: California got in the way.
Rusty James: California got in the way? I thought California was on the coast.
M: Remember, 007, you're on your own.
James Bond: Well, thank you, sir. That's a great comfort.
Frank Murphy: Catch ya later.
Randy: That techno-rock you guys listen to is gutless.
Jesse: You wanna dance? You follow my rules! This is not a democracy! You know, you're not exactly the greatest dancer ever to hit Broadway.
Nigel Pennington-Smythe: What are you doing?
Illya Kuryakin: Trying to get an explosive cap out of my boot heel, so I can blast the pipe apart so we can get out of here.
Nigel Pennington-Smythe: Why would they put the explosive cap in your shoe? You'll never get it with us hanging by these handcuffs from the pipe. You'd think somebody would have thought of a better spot to put it.
Illya Kuryakin: Well, that's progress I guess?
Clifford Skridlow: Nothing can destroy the Doctor.
Greg Stillson: My God! What a glorious day.
Sonny Elliman: Amen.