Best comedy movie quotes of 1971

Willy Wonka: Charlie, don't forget what happened to the man who suddenly got everything he always wanted.
Charlie Bucket: What happened?
Willy Wonka: He lived happily ever after.

Oscy: Not even the best of friends go halfsies on a rubber.

Witness: I'm sorry to disappoint you, but I've known Fielding Mellish for years and he's a warm, wonderful human being.
Fielding Mellish: Uh, would the clerk read that statement back please?
Court Clerk: "I've known Fielding Mellish for years and he's a rotten, conniving, dishonest little rat."
Fielding Mellish: Ok, I just wanted to make sure you were getting it.
Judge: You're out of order.

Captain Mainwaring: I intend to mould those men out there into an aggressive fighting force. I'm not going to get very far if you keep inviting them to "step this way."

Neil Jones

Maude: That was fun! Let's play something together.
Harold: I don't play anything.
Maude: Nothing? Dear me, everybody should be able to make some music. That's the cosmic dance.

Bobbie: I need a life.
Jonathan: Get a job.
Bobbie: I don't want a job. I want you.
Jonathan: I'm taken, by me. Get out of the house, do something useful, Goddammit.

Sgt. Schenley: Well I have discovered they all have one thing in common.
Inspector Trout: If you say they've all died mysteriously I'll bloody kill you.

Doc Schultz: I always did say that whorehouse was a gold mine.

Cardinal Wolsey: A drink, Ma'am?
Queen Marie: Thank you.
Cardinal Wolsey: I can heartily recommend the porter here.
Queen Marie: Really? Then do send him up to my room later.

The Kid: America, man! You know, it's so beautiful I wanta eat it.

Tommy: You know the double-trip maxie ford with the knickerbocker break.

Sid: How about some food?
Beattie: Well I could make you some beans on toast or something?
Sid: No, nothing too elaborate, thank you.